While deciding to file for divorce in Wheat Ridge, Arvada, or Golden, is hard, it is even more difficult to tell your children about the decision. Here is a list of tips to keep in mind when telling your children about your divorce.
Tip #1: Timing is Everything
It’s important that you don’t tell your children until your decision to separate is final. You do not want to unnecessarily stress out your kids by telling them you are thinking about divorce or trying to figure things out. Make sure you set aside time to sit down with your child and talk things out – don’t rush through it. Give them time to ask questions and process the situation, as it will be a big change for them too.
Tip #2: Present a United Front
Whether a divorce is amicable or full of tension, you should set any negative feelings aside and discuss what to tell your children together. Your kids will feel more at ease if both parents are present when you announce the news. This will prevent them from getting different stories that might confuse them. It will also help preserve your child’s trust in both parents.
Tip #3: Simplicity is Key
This difficult conversation does not need to go in depth about all the issues the marriage was having or the issues that are involved with a divorce. Instead, use age appropriate language to explain the parts the children will be concerned with. More often than not, children will ask where they will be living or when they will see each parent. Try to have a plan worked out beforehand so you can soothe them with some of these answers. It’s ok to be vague if the plan is not set in stone, but the kids will need assurance that they will still spend time with both parents.
Tip #4: Reassure, Reassure, Reassure
Your kids may ask you questions you just don’t have the answers to yet and that’s ok. Reassure them that everything will work out and soon their questions will be answered. Most importantly, the children will need reassurance that the divorce is not their fault. Often, kids will blame themselves for a break-up. Tell your child that this was an adult decision and not their fault. Also, show respect to your spouse so your kids don’t feel like they have to take sides.
If you are in the process of preparing for a divorce in Jefferson County, contact the best family law attorneys from the Pearman Law Firm for a initial phone consultation at 303-991-7600 today.
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